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Canada's Weird Adventure (featuring dongs)
*7:35 Waluigiofthegods Canada:*in dream* Mmm, these pancakes are delicious France. * 7:35 TheEnderGamer WHY DO YOU MAKE HIM ONLY SLEEP * 7:35 Waluigiofthegods France:*in dream* I made them just for you. * 7:35 User909 Kumajiro snatches the pancakes in the dream * 7:36 Waluigiofthegods Canada:*in dream* KUMAJIRO! * 7:36 User909 Kumajiro drops the pancakes with a sad look * The Regisaurus of karro has left the chat. * 7:36 Waluigiofthegods Canada:I think i drank too much maple syrup. * 7:37 TheEnderGamer Kumajiro snatches the pancakes again in the dream * Kumajiro: F*** you *runs away8 * 7:37 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Where's the bathroom? * 7:38 User909 There was a toilet with wings flying around * 7:38 TheEnderGamer Bushes surrond Canada * 7:39 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Francis? * 7:39 TheEnderGamer No toilets are seen except for the one that is flying high up * 7:39 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Oh god no! * Canada puts his hands in his crotch * 7:40 User909 Jaon Jett - Bad Reputation starts playing * 7:40 TheEnderGamer Canada realises he has to pee in the bushes, pee at the toilet or pee himself * 7:40 User909 *Joan * 7:40 Waluigiofthegods Canada:This is so embarrassing. * 7:40 TheEnderGamer Canada pees himself * 7:41 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Nooooooooo! * 7:41 TheEnderGamer A million people surrond him and laugh at him * 7:41 User909 Kumajiro was among them * 7:41 Waluigiofthegods Canada screams * 7:41 TheEnderGamer He sounds like a little girl * 7:41 User909 Canada wakes up * 7:41 TheEnderGamer awww * 7:41 User909 His pants were actually wet though * 7:41 Waluigiofthegods Canada:What the hell!? * 7:42 TheEnderGamer Kumajiro: Ya pee yourself all the time, this ain't suprising. *smokes a pipe* * 7:42 Waluigiofthegods Canada:WHAT THE F**K? * 7:43 TheEnderGamer I decided to make him like Ted * 7:43 User909 wow, people still remember that movie? * 7:43 TheEnderGamer I didn't watch it * I just know the plot * anyways RP * They're making a sequel ya know * 7:45 User909 holy sh*t not again * good thing i don't use facebook anymore * it was swarmed with memes of ted * 7:45 Waluigiofthegods Canada:WHAT THE F**K? OK? * 7:45 TheEnderGamer Kumajiro: Why the f*** you talking twice? Weirdo. *continues smoking* * 7:45 Waluigiofthegods Canada * 7:46 TheEnderGamer England * 7:46 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Why did you take my pancakes? * 7:46 TheEnderGamer Kumajiro: You insane? I didn't f***ing do that. * 7:46 User909 Flashpoint Goat Mom: Ha! Smoking weed is gay! * 7:47 TheEnderGamer Kumajiro: This ain't weed * 7:47 User909 Flashpoint Goat Mom: Ha! Smoking anything is gay! * 7:47 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Please tell me this is real life. * The Regisaurus of karro has joined the chat. * 7:47 TheEnderGamer Kumajiro jumps and scratches Flashpoint Goat Mom across the face * 7:48 User909 Flashpoint Goat Mom summons Arial Black the skeleton to beat Kumajiro up * 7:48 TheEnderGamer Kumajiro gets beaten up * 7:49 The Regisaurus of karro Lol * 7:49 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Stop it! * 7:49 The Regisaurus of karro arial black the skeleton * 7:49 TheEnderGamer Kumajiro jumps back at the skeleton and scratches it * 7:49 User909 Arial Black: LOOKS LIKE YOU HAD A ICKY TIME! * Arial Black shoots bones and bacon at Kumajiro at a high speed * Flashpoint Goat Mom snorts cocaine * The Regisaurus of karro has left the chat. * 7:50 Waluigiofthegods Canada p * Canada:This has to be another dream! * 7:50 TheEnderGamer The bacon lands in his eyes and the bones hit him * Kumajiro: GAH! MY F***ING EYES! * 7:51 User909 Arial Black disappears with Flashpoint Goat Mom * 7:51 Waluigiofthegods Canada:I still gotta pee. * 7:51 TheEnderGamer Kumajiro takes the bacon away from his eyes * Kumajiro: YOU JUST F***ING P***ED YOURSELF AND YOU STILL WANNA P***? * 7:52 Waluigiofthegods Canada:This is another dream! * 7:53 TheEnderGamer Kumajiro: It isn't kid, this is real life. Want me to prove it? * 7:53 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Yes. * 7:53 TheEnderGamer Kumajiro scratches Canada, who feels the pain * 7:53 User909 Donkey Kong showers Canada and Kumajiro with coconut cream pie * 7:53 TheEnderGamer Donkey Kong: EXPAND PIE * Donkey Kong: BAKE DONG * 7:54 Waluigiofthegods Canada:It still feels like a dream, especially with that thing. * 7:54 TheEnderGamer Kumajiro: Life can be random, kid. * 7:55 Waluigiofthegods Canada:I'm about to blow my brains out. * 7:55 User909 Fandom Chica breaks into Canada's house with a crowbar * 7:55 TheEnderGamer Kumajiro: Good, you're a f***ing loser * 7:55 User909 She points a revolver at Canada Fandom Chica: GIVE ME YOUR GOODS AND NO ONE GETS HURT! * 7:56 TheEnderGamer Kumajiro: Fine, kill him. He SUCKS. * 7:56 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Yeah, this is a dream. * 7:56 User909 Fandom Chica shoots at Canada and takes a bunch of stuff * 7:56 TheEnderGamer Kumajiro: It isn't, now goodbye. FIRE! * Canada dies * 7:57 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Is this heaven? * 7:57 User909 Canada wakes up in heaven * Canada sees a gigantic Donkey Kong from a distance * 7:58 Waluigiofthegods Canada:That was a dream, i knew it! * 7:58 TheEnderGamer Donkey Kong is expanding dong * 7:58 User909 Donkey Kong's dong hits Canada and knocks him to hell * 7:59 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Oh no, I've been a bad country. * 7:59 User909 Hell was full of antromorphic crocodiles * Gabby Gator: Hey buddy! Have you seen a woodpecker? * 8:00 Waluigiofthegods Canada:*thinking* Calm down Matthew, it's just another dream. * Canada:Is this a dream? * 8:00 User909 Gabby Gator: I don't know, but i'm hungry for woodpeckers! * 8:01 TheEnderGamer Gator Flenders: It's ding dong diddly real life diddly hiddly! * 8:01 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Hey, I'm the spirit of Canada. You can call me Matthew. * 8:02 TheEnderGamer Gator Flanders: I'm Ned Flanders as a diddly ding dong crocodile hiddly diddly * 8:02 Waluigiofthegods Canada:This really sounds like a dream. * 8:03 User909 Malphas: We should rebel against heaven and Donkey Kong himself! * 8:03 TheEnderGamer Donkey Kong hears what Malphas said and smacks him with his dong * 8:03 User909 Malphas dies * 8:03 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Maybe I've been in a coma this whole time! * Canada:I just need to WAKE UP, * 8:04 User909 The impact was so strong, it creates a new continent in hell * Imp: ...welp, that was the last demon of Goetia. * 8:04 TheEnderGamer man donkey kong's got a strong dong * 8:04 User909 (lenny) * Imp: Now we don't stand a chance! We're doomed to eternal suffering for not liking the Expand Dong meme! * 8:05 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Body, please WAKE UP, * 8:05 TheEnderGamer Donkey Kong pokes Imp with his dong * 8:05 Waluigiofthegods *. * 8:05 User909 Imp turns into dust * Another imp offers Canada some hell juice. * 8:05 TheEnderGamer Donkey Kong: Do you like Expand Dong? * 8:06 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Hey Donkey Kong. * Canada waves * 8:06 TheEnderGamer Donkey Kong: DO YOU LIKE EXPAND DONG * 8:06 Waluigiofthegods Canada:ARE YOU GONNA KILL ME IF I SAY NO? * 8:06 TheEnderGamer Donkey Kong: DO YOU LIKE EXPAND DONG?1 * 8:07 Waluigiofthegods Canada:No, please don't kill me. * 8:07 TheEnderGamer Donkey Kong smacks Canada with his dong * 8:08 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Is this REALLY a dream. * 8:08 TheEnderGamer Canada disentegrates * 8:08 Waluigiofthegods *? * 8:08 User909 Canada wakes up in a hospital bed * 8:08 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Wake.....up * 8:09 TheEnderGamer Doctor: You've given us quite the scare, you seem to be very injured due to being "hit by a dong". * 8:09 User909 Doctor: Dude, i told you to stop scaring the patients. * Doctor to Canada: You overdosed in maple syrup * 8:09 Waluigiofthegods Canada:I was in a coma this whole time? * 8:09 User909 Doctor to Canada: You have diabetes * 8:10 TheEnderGamer Doctor: Yes you do * 8:10 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Kill me. * 8:10 User909 Doctor to Canada: Euthanasia was banned last week * The Regisaurus of karro has joined the chat. * 8:11 Waluigiofthegods Canada:But I'm the spirit of Canada, this has to be a joke. * 8:11 TheEnderGamer Doctor: Do you REALLY wanna die? * 8:11 User909 Doctor to Canada: Sir, your maple syrup consumption was very high. It was certain you were going to get diabetes * 8:11 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Yes, death is better than going without maple syrup. * 8:12 TheEnderGamer Donkey Kong smacks Canada with his dong, killing him * 8:12 User909 The dong destroys the entire city in the process * 8:12 TheEnderGamer man that's one powerful dong * The Regisaurus of karro has left the chat. * 8:12 User909 Canada reincarnates as Azerbaijan * 8:13 Waluigiofthegods Canada:What the? * 8:13 User909 Turkey: Hey Azerbaijan! Ready to kill some Kurds? * 8:13 TheEnderGamer Wat's a Azerbaijan? * 8:13 User909 It's a country * 8:13 TheEnderGamer ok * 8:13 User909 Azerbaijan is a girl btw * 8:13 Waluigiofthegods Canada:What the? * 8:13 TheEnderGamer Canada realises he has boobs * 8:14 User909 Turkey: Not feeling like? But killing Kurds is fun! * 8:14 Waluigiofthegods Canada:WHAT THE F**K!? THIS HAS TO BE A JOKE! * 8:14 User909 Turkey: ...are you on your period again? * 8:15 Waluigiofthegods Canada:*thinking* Don't worry Matthew, your still Canadian on the inside. * The Regisaurus of karro has joined the chat. * 8:16 User909 Turkey: Well, i'll just Kurds myself. See ya * Turkey leaves * 8:16 TheEnderGamer "i'll just Kurds myself" * 8:16 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Oh my god. * 8:16 User909 *just kill * Canada was inside an apartment in Instabul * 8:17 Waluigiofthegods Canada:I've been put into another. * *Country * Canada:I don't I'll be Matthew anymore. * *think * The Regisaurus of karro has left the chat. * 8:19 User909 Azerbaijan's fridge was full of kebab * Ready to be fried * 8:19 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Oh s**t! * The Regisaurus of karro has joined the chat. * 8:19 TheEnderGamer what does canada have again kebabs * kebabs are nice * 8:20 User909 kebabs are not pancakes * 8:20 TheEnderGamer *against * i guess * The Regisaurus of karro has left the chat. * 8:21 User909 A wild boar walks into the room * The Regisaurus of karro has joined the chat. * 8:21 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Me and Azerbaijan must've swapped souls. * 8:22 User909 The wild boar injects some meth * Wild Boar: Ahhhh, much better * 8:22 Waluigiofthegods Canada:I HATE METH! BUT I LOVE HOCKEY! * 8:22 User909 Wild Boar: Hey Azerbaijan! * 8:22 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Hockey's better than this s**t, this is hell. * 8:22 User909 that's the best quote i heard this year * 8:23 TheEnderGamer Guy with hat: METH IS NOTHING COMPARED TO... KROKOWEEDCAINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE * 8:23 User909 "I HATE METH! BUT I LOVE HOCKEY!" --Canada, 2016 * Wild Boar: But you bought my meth! * The Regisaurus of karro has left the chat. * 8:23 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Who are you? * 8:24 User909 Wild Boar: I'm Kumajiro! Your pet! * 8:24 Waluigiofthegods Canada:You look NOTHING like Kumajiro. Kumajiro is a polar bear, not a boar. * 8:25 User909 Wild Boar: But...but you adopted me! * 8:25 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Me and you must've swapped bodies. * 8:25 User909 Wild Boar: What are you talking about? * 8:26 Waluigiofthegods Canada:You said you were Kumajiro, and your a boar, so we had to have swapped bodies. * 8:26 User909 Kumajiro: I have no idea what you're talking about * Kumajiro: Are you on your period again? * 8:26 TheEnderGamer Kurd: YOU SUCK! *punches Canada* * 8:27 User909 Turkey: Whoops! Let one escape! * 8:27 Waluigiofthegods Canada:You REALLY are Kumajiro! * 8:27 User909 Kumajiro: Yaaay, let's kill Kurds! * Turkey and Kumajiro gang up killing the Kurd * 8:27 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Let's go find our bodies! * 8:28 User909 Kumajiro: I still don't get it * 8:28 Waluigiofthegods Canada:But who would do something like this? * Canada:Who? * 8:28 User909 Kumajiro: Should i buy you more tampons? * 8:29 Waluigiofthegods Canada:I AM MATTHEW! * 8:29 User909 Kumajiro looks confused at Canada * 8:29 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Let's just find out. * 8:29 TheEnderGamer Guy with hat: YOU NEED SOME KROKOWEEDCAINE! * 8:30 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Kumajiro, we have to leave this place. This is hell on Earth. * 8:30 User909 Kumajiro: But Turkey is so good! Well...at least if you're Turkey, Azerbaijan or ISIS... * 8:31 TheEnderGamer Guy with a hat gives Kumajiro a bag of krokoweed caine * 8:31 Waluigiofthegods Canada:I just wanna go home and eat some pancakes. * 8:31 TheEnderGamer Same to Canada * 8:31 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Screw this. * 8:31 User909 Kumajiro: I heard about this... * Kumajiro injects Krokoweedcaine on Kurds * 8:31 TheEnderGamer You don't inject YOU SNUFF * 8:32 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Let's just get going. * 8:32 User909 Why not both? * 8:32 TheEnderGamer Sure * 8:32 User909 Kumajiro: Well, you're my owner, i guess * Kumajiro follows Canada * 8:32 Waluigiofthegods Canada:How about we have a talk with Ivan? * 8:33 User909 Kumajiro: You mean Russia? I hate that guy! * 8:33 TheEnderGamer Guy with a hat: TRY THE KROKOWEEDCAINE! * 8:33 User909 Kumajiro: He is always trying to ruin Turkey's plans! * 8:33 Waluigiofthegods Canada:But he was my friend, and it's possible he's the creator's assistant. * 8:34 User909 Kumajiro: Friend? Are you INSANE?! Russia is our greatest enemy! * Kumajiro: Don't you remember when he turned you into a socialist? * 8:35 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Stop acting like the middle east! We're from North America, our bodies have just been swapped. * 8:35 User909 Kumajiro: North America f*cking stinks! * 8:35 TheEnderGamer Guy with a hat: SNUFF THE KROKOWEEDCAINE!!!! * 8:35 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Your not a terrorist. Repeat that three times. * 8:36 User909 Kumajiro: But i'm not one. I just help them. You helped them countless times1 * *! * 8:37 Waluigiofthegods Canada:We're still Canadians, our souls were swapped by some other country. * *just * The Regisaurus of karro has joined the chat. * 8:37 User909 Kumajiro: Canada sucks! People there are so naive and do nothing but drink maple syrup all day. One day we will bomb that place! * 8:38 Waluigiofthegods Canada:WE ARE FROM CANADA! IM THE SPIRIT OF CANADA. * 8:38 User909 Kumajiro: I don't understand you...are you betraying Islam, Azerbaijan? * 8:38 TheEnderGamer Guy with a hat throws krokoweedcaine into the air * 8:39 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Your Kumajiro, i'm Matthew Williams. Your just acting like a bad country just because your soul was put into one. Stop being grouchy, we came from a nice country with nice food. * 8:40 User909 Kumajiro: ...i never thought you would turn that way. Go follow your stupid eastern dream! I'm out * Kumajiro leaves * 8:40 TheEnderGamer Guy with a hat follows * Guy with a hat: Try the KROKOWEEDCAINE! * 8:40 Waluigiofthegods Canada:But your my friend! * 8:40 User909 Kumajiro: F*ck off! * 8:40 Waluigiofthegods Canada:F**k you too! * 8:41 User909 Kumajiro enters a mosque * 8:41 TheEnderGamer What's that? * 8:41 Waluigiofthegods Canada:I gotta find out who would do such a thing. * 8:41 User909 An islamic church * 8:41 TheEnderGamer ok * The Regisaurus of karro has left the chat. * 8:42 Waluigiofthegods Canada:This is psychological tortue. * Canada:Better find Ivan, he's first. * 8:43 User909 There was a road leading to Russia * But it was filled with turrets * 8:43 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Oh s**t! * Canada:There's got to be an easier way. * 8:44 User909 Kazakhstan's road to Russia was turret-free for some reason * 8:45 TheEnderGamer I'M ON THE HIGHWAYYYYYYY TO RUSSIA * 8:45 User909 There was also Georgia * 8:45 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Here we go, if only Kumajiro understood. * Canada starts walking * 8:45 User909 Canada arrives at Georgia * 8:46 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Hello? * 8:47 User909 Georgia: Yo Azerbaijan! * 8:47 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Your obviously confused, i'm Matthew Williams, i just swapped souls with Azerbaijan. * Canada:I need to get my body back. * 8:48 User909 Georgia: Hahahah! Always with a good sense of humour! * 8:48 Waluigiofthegods Canada:I'M BEING SERIOUS HERE! * 8:48 User909 Georgia: ... * The Regisaurus of karro has joined the chat. * 8:48 User909 Georgia: You didn't become a supporter of these filthy easterns, didn't you? * *did * 8:49 Waluigiofthegods Canada:No, i hate them. I was in a hospital one day, and then in the middle east in another body the next day. * The Regisaurus of karro has left the chat. * 8:50 User909 Georgia: I have no idea what you're talking about...but anyway, what are you doing here? * *filthy westerns mixed it up * 8:50 Waluigiofthegods Canada:We need to find who's doing this, do you know any other countries that have their souls swapped. * J? * *? * 8:51 TheEnderGamer K? * L? * O? * P? * H? * N? * M? * G? * i'll stop * 8:51 User909 Georgia: ...soul swapping? What the actual f*ck are you talking about? * 8:51 Waluigiofthegods Canada:You need some help to crack your noggin!? * 8:52 User909 Georgia: ... * Georgia kicks Canada out of the country * Canada lands on Ukraine and somehow doesn't suffer any damage from the fall * 8:52 Waluigiofthegods Canada:S**t! * Canada:Ukraine? * 8:52 User909 Ukraine: STOP RIGHT THERE! * Ukraine: MIDDLE-EASTERN SCUM! * 8:53 Waluigiofthegods Canada:I'm not, I'm Matthew Williams. I'm just dressed like this! * 8:53 User909 Ukraine: ...what? * 8:53 TheEnderGamer Canada sees his reflection in something, revealing him to look exactly like Azerbaijan * 8:54 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Do you need an explanation? * 8:54 User909 Ukraine: Some Middle-eastern country just comes in claiming she is a scummy western. Of course i do! * The Regisaurus of karro has joined the chat. * 8:54 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Let me explain before you kill me. * The Regisaurus of karro has left the chat. * 8:56 User909 Anyone wants to see how my Minecraft city is becoming like? * 8:56 TheEnderGamer Sure * 8:56 User909 http://i.imgur.com/eyOZHBk.png * Fun Fact: The underground is much more expansive * 8:57 TheEnderGamer Cool * 8:57 User909 Thanks * 8:57 Waluigiofthegods Canada:I am Canada, i had a polar bear plushie, his name was Kumajiro. He got into a fight with these creatures that i don't know their names, then it all went to hell. I woke up in a hospital bed, a doctor told me i was in a coma from drinking too much maple syrup. Then my eyes closed and woke up as Azerbaijan with these big b**bs. * 8:57 User909 Georgia: ... * *Ukraine * Ukraine kicks Canada out * 8:58 Waluigiofthegods Canada:It's strange as hell. * 8:58 User909 Canada lands on Russia * 8:58 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Please don't kill me, I'm Matthew Williams! * 8:58 User909 Russia: Hmph! I would if i could! * 8:59 Waluigiofthegods Canada:I am Canada, i had a polar bear plushie, his name was Kumajiro. He got into a fight with these creatures that i don't know their names, then it all went to hell. I woke up in a hospital bed, a doctor told me i was in a coma from drinking too much maple syrup. Then my eyes closed and woke up as Azerbaijan with these big b**bs. * 8:59 User909 Russia: ...stop impersonating Canada. He is my friend. * 8:59 Waluigiofthegods Canada:How about we do a quiz about Canada to find out? * Canada:Like, with memories? * 9:00 User909 Russia: Hmmm... * Russia: What kind of drug does Kumajiro likes to use? * 9:01 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Hmm...Krokoweedcaine? * 9:01 User909 Russia: ...impressive * Russia: What was the name of that criminal friend Canada had? * 9:01 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Simon, Simon Jarrett. * 9:02 TheEnderGamer pff that's easy * The Regisaurus of karro has joined the chat. * 9:02 The Regisaurus of karro Brb * 9:03 TheEnderGamer kk * 9:03 User909 Russia: ...tell me something Canada does a lot other than sleeping, eating pancakes and drinking maple syrup * 9:04 TheEnderGamer EASY * 9:04 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Wetting his pants. * 9:04 TheEnderGamer PEEING * The Regisaurus of karro has left the chat. * 9:04 User909 Russia: ...i...what...nah...CANADA WHAT THE F*** * 9:04 TheEnderGamer that's easy * dude * 9:04 User909 Russia: Well, only Canada would be so naive to thing someone would believe that story * 9:04 Waluigiofthegods Canada:I know this is weird. * 9:05 User909 *think * 9:05 Waluigiofthegods Canada:Can you just help me find out who's doing this? * 9:05 User909 Russia: Whatever is happening, i have no idea Category:Unfinished Roleplays